My name is Nathania, or lavenderpeace as some people in the world may know me as. I am finally in university, studying Nutritional and Nutraceutical Sciences.
Living a comfortable life full with high and low times, and despite it all I love it.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
This is a rant. Its all negative, so if you're in a good mood, please don't read.
To me, I'm a bitch.
To me, I'm the most terrible person. I feel as if I use people for something, whether or not I chose them in the first place. In my own imaginary world, it feels as if everything is falling apart. For two years, I lived in this idealistic world that the group of friends I have is perfect. No disagreements, everything was picture perfect. Now, I see all the cracks, the flaws, its like a family portrait. You can see the happiness in a picture, but realistically, there are endless disputes. The thirteen of us are like a family portrait. But, put us together, you see everyone breaking off, separately. I didn't know there were disputes, I didn't know dislikes were involved, everything. Its like a little kid believing in Santa Claus. Tom told me, and we got into a heated conversation. I didn't understand something, and basically I feel like I tried to force people together. Its a slap across the face knowing everything wasn't how I saw it 2 years ago. Its like telling a kid right before Christmas Eve that Santa doesn't exist, its your parents stuffing themselves to milk and cookies.
Grade 12 is getting more and more aggravating. I'm getting heavily annoyed by a guy who doesn't care about class, and being stuck with him for a duet isn't the best thing right now. He doesn't sing in class, nor does he seem like he is interested in any way. Sure, I understand that this is the most chill class ever, but putting in some effort for university and whatever, it boosts the average up. But NO. There is nothing. I can't seem to find a way to motivate him. The performance is tomorrow, and he is still offkey. I don't know what to do... I'm going to fail...
T.T
9:16 PM
