BEYOND THE LENS.
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My name is Nathania, or lavenderpeace as some people in the world may know me as. I am finally in university, studying Nutritional and Nutraceutical Sciences.
Living a comfortable life full with high and low times, and despite it all I love it.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Alas, I have been decieved again. I might as well call myself blind. I shall not be able to think and see the same way ever again. I have made many mistakes, but this must have been the worst so far. I am so tired of waiting patiently and hoping one day, you would look my way. I have been waiting for four years. Four endless, dreamless, sleepless nights, living off of false hopes and dreams that seemed pretty real to me. But one day, someone broke that fantasy, making me realize the last few years of my life, I have been living them wildly and with my eyes closed.
It was all a dream.
Forced to open my eyes, I found out, that fantasy is just something that will only belong in dreams. Knowing and facing the real facts, make me cry myself to sleep every night, knowing these dreams of mine will never come true.
I have been so out of everything, no one knows of my existence anymore. It is as if I am only a presence there, lingering... longing... hoping that someone will notice, but in the end, they do not. This is my past, present and will be future.
The world is never fair, and it doesn't plan on being fair for years to come.
I loved you. and i still do, but its hidden so deep inside that if one day i let it out, you reject it, it wouldn't hurt as much. ><
9:03 PM
Monday, March 31, 2008
Alas, I have been decieved again. I might as well call myself blind. I shall not be able to think and see the same way ever again. I have made many mistakes, but this must have been the worst so far. I am so tired of waiting patiently and hoping one day, you would look my way. I have been waiting for four years. Four endless, dreamless, sleepless nights, living off of false hopes and dreams that seemed pretty real to me. But one day, someone broke that fantasy, making me realize the last few years of my life, I have been living them wildly and with my eyes closed.
It was all a dream.
Forced to open my eyes, I found out, that fantasy is just something that will only belong in dreams. Knowing and facing the real facts, make me cry myself to sleep every night, knowing these dreams of mine will never come true.
I have been so out of everything, no one knows of my existence anymore. It is as if I am only a presence there, lingering... longing... hoping that someone will notice, but in the end, they do not. This is my past, present and will be future.
The world is never fair, and it doesn't plan on being fair for years to come.
I loved you. and i still do, but its hidden so deep inside that if one day i let it out, you reject it, it wouldn't hurt as much. ><
