My name is Nathania, or lavenderpeace as some people in the world may know me as. I am finally in university, studying Nutritional and Nutraceutical Sciences.
Living a comfortable life full with high and low times, and despite it all I love it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
To explore, click on the tabs!
So, while I was doing math... someone was talking about a blog. So, he decided to make a blog to write or type out everything on his mind. Good job! :D
Hands cold... feet getting a bit cold too... does this mean my heart is warm once again? I hope so. As winter is quickly approaching, I just realized tomorrow is DECEMBER! The month of insanity for shopping malls, just to buy lavish presents for all. Is it really all necessary?!?!
What we all find necessary is all subjective. Is the coolest clothes from your favourite brand necessary? Nope. You could probably find something similar for a cheaper price. New accessories? Unless its broken or something. Just looking all around its all about what we WANT not what we NEED. Obviously as time passes we learn to become dependent on it (for example, calculators) and its harder to separate from it.
Well, anyways, beyond that, school is getting a bit stressed. Ahaha everyone is so stressed going like ZOMG I'm failing or omg this and that. Yeah.
But most of all, I was absolutely joyful when I fully told someone I loved him. But I'm just happy except when I pulled another gag on him. But I'm stopping. Forever. He does not deserve such cruelty. He means so much to me, and so much more. Sweet dreams lovely.
10:02 PM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I cannot focus at all recently. I do not know whether or not it is from my happiness or I have lost the drive. I have no idea. All I can think about is HIM HIM HIM. Its not annoying, but it does start very randomly and when I am working on important stuff. I mean, I think wearing his scarf while doing work would keep me from my mind wandering off but no. If I do not have it on, my neck feels too bare. :P
5:19 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Well, due to a special someone who totally stalked me down to figure out my past, I greet you. :P
As you can see, there is a slight change in the atmosphere. Or that would just be my euphoria leaking through the internet and into everyone's heart so they could perhaps get a glimpse of my joy.
So there was this.. BOY. I do not know if I should write a lot about him, despite the fact he has completely changed my attitude towards life. Looking back to about after summer, my life majorly consisted only of academics, or volunteering. I enjoy volunteering and what not, and the exhilarating feeling of helping others. Yet life did not feel complete. I more or less threw aside my social life and devoted most of my time on schoolwork. It was going amazingly. Unfortunately the bad side to it was that everytime I went out with friends I never really stayed around I was always by myself listening to music, being all by myself.
I guess that phase is over now. Someone who was in my life earlier on I guess made a very spontaneous dive and well... unknown feelings began to fluorish. It has not been a long time since we had been together but it seems right. All that I feel for once seems real, and the happiness/joy does not seem to cease. I'm grateful for that, for God has perhaps answered my prayers (maybe the prayers were too shallow? :P) and I was blessed to have found a friend like him.
But beyond that.... as night progresses through, the more dark it becomes, the more nocturnal I get and the insecurities arrive. Despite that, I really enjoy the night. Though sometimes it brings sadness, it is a sweet sadness, almost like crying when you're free from your chains.
I do not have much more to say, but I just hope that despite the many difficulties that lie ahead, I would be able to stand strong through it all, and I will not give into my insecurities and lose something that means a great deal to me. I do not think I would be able to handle that.
It is getting darker, the more I worry for those I cherish (yes, there is more than one) and the many activies I must go through tomorrow during school. Well, that is it. Cheers~ and goodnight. May God bring you rest for the night. :)
10:24 PM
Monday, November 16, 2009
Well, years and years after totally promising myself NOT to fall in love, I have yet again failed. Is this how it is supposed to be? Is falling in love really worth it?
Today I got a taste of how love is supposed to feel like.
Someone who was a friend of mine and was becoming a closer friend had asked me out... or to be his girlfriend. I was definitely taken back because I was not prepared for this at all. Later on I agreed, but due to many things I had many second guesses, and wondered if I would regret the decision in the morning. My track record to me seemed... black like soot or coal. Terrible, horrible thing to look at. Yet, I managed to be honest to myself and him and tell him the entire truth or how I saw it. It took a lot of courage because... telling normal people themselves this story was hard enough. I told Kay how I felt when he did this to me etc etc... and he kept saying how much I've grown... I do not know if he meant it in a good way or a bad.
Talking to Kay and the boy was really comforting. It seemed that I was hard on myself (quoted from the boy) and that all previous mistakes has been forgiven. I felt so... happy and clean. I don't know. The feeling towards him is very different from many whom I have dated or had been in a relationship with. Very different. Hopefully all goes well!
11:36 PM
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Well it has been a while since I have updated this.
Due to hahaha.... problems of html-ing, I will have to readjust everything.
Many things may have changed...
Midterms has just passed, and I am doing alright. I am in the high eighties and that means I am on the school's honour roll. Yet again. Not much of an accomplishment, but I managed to keep my average above 85! Yay!
Trying to balance sciences with math is quite difficult. Maintaining a 99% average in math is difficult. I am very proud but anything can happen and not only does my average drop, my whole self will become depressed.
My chemistry teacher dislikes me due to the fact I miss class every frequently. Just recently I went on a biology trip, and a symposium mainly addressing the tragedies of the Holocaust. Though being educated about World War Two, why does everyone just turn their heads towards Europe and not look beyond that such as Asia? Asia has suffered too. Why do people not look? Read the Rape of Nanking!!
what else... well. nothing really. I updated my playlist! New songs.. more or less. A few new tunes I dropped because I think it is.... cool.
Hope you enjoy!
OH oops I did forget something. Eyes set towards UBC. I have dreamt of the University of British Columbia for a while. More on that when I have less homework. yay!
3:57 PM
Monday, November 30, 2009
To explore, click on the tabs!
So, while I was doing math... someone was talking about a blog. So, he decided to make a blog to write or type out everything on his mind. Good job! :D
Hands cold... feet getting a bit cold too... does this mean my heart is warm once again? I hope so. As winter is quickly approaching, I just realized tomorrow is DECEMBER! The month of insanity for shopping malls, just to buy lavish presents for all. Is it really all necessary?!?!
What we all find necessary is all subjective. Is the coolest clothes from your favourite brand necessary? Nope. You could probably find something similar for a cheaper price. New accessories? Unless its broken or something. Just looking all around its all about what we WANT not what we NEED. Obviously as time passes we learn to become dependent on it (for example, calculators) and its harder to separate from it.
Well, anyways, beyond that, school is getting a bit stressed. Ahaha everyone is so stressed going like ZOMG I'm failing or omg this and that. Yeah.
But most of all, I was absolutely joyful when I fully told someone I loved him. But I'm just happy except when I pulled another gag on him. But I'm stopping. Forever. He does not deserve such cruelty. He means so much to me, and so much more. Sweet dreams lovely.
10:02 PM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I cannot focus at all recently. I do not know whether or not it is from my happiness or I have lost the drive. I have no idea. All I can think about is HIM HIM HIM. Its not annoying, but it does start very randomly and when I am working on important stuff. I mean, I think wearing his scarf while doing work would keep me from my mind wandering off but no. If I do not have it on, my neck feels too bare. :P
5:19 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Well, due to a special someone who totally stalked me down to figure out my past, I greet you. :P
As you can see, there is a slight change in the atmosphere. Or that would just be my euphoria leaking through the internet and into everyone's heart so they could perhaps get a glimpse of my joy.
So there was this.. BOY. I do not know if I should write a lot about him, despite the fact he has completely changed my attitude towards life. Looking back to about after summer, my life majorly consisted only of academics, or volunteering. I enjoy volunteering and what not, and the exhilarating feeling of helping others. Yet life did not feel complete. I more or less threw aside my social life and devoted most of my time on schoolwork. It was going amazingly. Unfortunately the bad side to it was that everytime I went out with friends I never really stayed around I was always by myself listening to music, being all by myself.
I guess that phase is over now. Someone who was in my life earlier on I guess made a very spontaneous dive and well... unknown feelings began to fluorish. It has not been a long time since we had been together but it seems right. All that I feel for once seems real, and the happiness/joy does not seem to cease. I'm grateful for that, for God has perhaps answered my prayers (maybe the prayers were too shallow? :P) and I was blessed to have found a friend like him.
But beyond that.... as night progresses through, the more dark it becomes, the more nocturnal I get and the insecurities arrive. Despite that, I really enjoy the night. Though sometimes it brings sadness, it is a sweet sadness, almost like crying when you're free from your chains.
I do not have much more to say, but I just hope that despite the many difficulties that lie ahead, I would be able to stand strong through it all, and I will not give into my insecurities and lose something that means a great deal to me. I do not think I would be able to handle that.
It is getting darker, the more I worry for those I cherish (yes, there is more than one) and the many activies I must go through tomorrow during school. Well, that is it. Cheers~ and goodnight. May God bring you rest for the night. :)
10:24 PM
Monday, November 16, 2009
Well, years and years after totally promising myself NOT to fall in love, I have yet again failed. Is this how it is supposed to be? Is falling in love really worth it?
Today I got a taste of how love is supposed to feel like.
Someone who was a friend of mine and was becoming a closer friend had asked me out... or to be his girlfriend. I was definitely taken back because I was not prepared for this at all. Later on I agreed, but due to many things I had many second guesses, and wondered if I would regret the decision in the morning. My track record to me seemed... black like soot or coal. Terrible, horrible thing to look at. Yet, I managed to be honest to myself and him and tell him the entire truth or how I saw it. It took a lot of courage because... telling normal people themselves this story was hard enough. I told Kay how I felt when he did this to me etc etc... and he kept saying how much I've grown... I do not know if he meant it in a good way or a bad.
Talking to Kay and the boy was really comforting. It seemed that I was hard on myself (quoted from the boy) and that all previous mistakes has been forgiven. I felt so... happy and clean. I don't know. The feeling towards him is very different from many whom I have dated or had been in a relationship with. Very different. Hopefully all goes well!
11:36 PM
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Well it has been a while since I have updated this.
Due to hahaha.... problems of html-ing, I will have to readjust everything.
Many things may have changed...
Midterms has just passed, and I am doing alright. I am in the high eighties and that means I am on the school's honour roll. Yet again. Not much of an accomplishment, but I managed to keep my average above 85! Yay!
Trying to balance sciences with math is quite difficult. Maintaining a 99% average in math is difficult. I am very proud but anything can happen and not only does my average drop, my whole self will become depressed.
My chemistry teacher dislikes me due to the fact I miss class every frequently. Just recently I went on a biology trip, and a symposium mainly addressing the tragedies of the Holocaust. Though being educated about World War Two, why does everyone just turn their heads towards Europe and not look beyond that such as Asia? Asia has suffered too. Why do people not look? Read the Rape of Nanking!!
what else... well. nothing really. I updated my playlist! New songs.. more or less. A few new tunes I dropped because I think it is.... cool.
Hope you enjoy!
OH oops I did forget something. Eyes set towards UBC. I have dreamt of the University of British Columbia for a while. More on that when I have less homework. yay!
3:57 PM
