BEYOND THE LENS.
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My name is Nathania, or lavenderpeace as some people in the world may know me as. I am finally in university, studying Nutritional and Nutraceutical Sciences.
Living a comfortable life full with high and low times, and despite it all I love it.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Day: Six
So last night I was talking to Tom again... it was kind of bad. I don't know why but I tend to put myself down late at night... and tire myself out. I'm basically destroying myself. Living in the basement is bad for my health already and with me sleeping really late doesn't help either.
I am sorry I'm alive, and I make you go through all this sort of crap. You of all people don't deserve this. You can always do better Tom, and its a proven fact.
*sigh*
for the last few days I have been really lazy and haven't been really posting, maybe because I don't have time. But now I do.
The Carabram thing was awesome in its own special way. Most of the time I was looking around Brampton because I was supposed to move there instead of Markham, and I kept asking my dad if it was a better choice moving to Markham instead of Brampton. Looking around like some Catholic high schools it looked so odd to me. But the events were awesome, and I learned a lot and ate a lot too. Periogies, cabbage rolls, rice dumplings, bratwrusts, etc.. I think its a good thing that I didn't end up buying some cotton candy. On the way back home, we went on Hurontario Street/Main St. and it honestly reminded me of Stratford minus the Festival theatre.
I tried my bestest to stop thinking about Tom, and I hope I can continue because its so hard to not be unhappy. I regret telling him how unhappy I am because now he's going to put it all on himself. Its not fair to him, which makes me think whether or not its a good idea to temporarily hide all my feelings for a little over a week, or until a good time... if such a time even exists. He's clearly doing something more productive than I am. It makes me wonder to hide all this sadness if its better to keep the ring off until he comes back. Its supposed to be symbolic and I don't know... does he have to follow me wherever I go? Its like how we act like we're madly in love. But are we really? Or is this all passion or the yearning to be with someone?
I should go get ready... I'm going out with Mike today to teach him how to fold stars, maybe lunch with him and buy stationary. Yay... but I still need to get postage.. ><"
I'll elaborate on this day and many other insights later.
POKEMON T-SHIRT! :D
10:50 AM
Monday, July 12, 2010
Day: Six
So last night I was talking to Tom again... it was kind of bad. I don't know why but I tend to put myself down late at night... and tire myself out. I'm basically destroying myself. Living in the basement is bad for my health already and with me sleeping really late doesn't help either.
I am sorry I'm alive, and I make you go through all this sort of crap. You of all people don't deserve this. You can always do better Tom, and its a proven fact.
*sigh*
for the last few days I have been really lazy and haven't been really posting, maybe because I don't have time. But now I do.
The Carabram thing was awesome in its own special way. Most of the time I was looking around Brampton because I was supposed to move there instead of Markham, and I kept asking my dad if it was a better choice moving to Markham instead of Brampton. Looking around like some Catholic high schools it looked so odd to me. But the events were awesome, and I learned a lot and ate a lot too. Periogies, cabbage rolls, rice dumplings, bratwrusts, etc.. I think its a good thing that I didn't end up buying some cotton candy. On the way back home, we went on Hurontario Street/Main St. and it honestly reminded me of Stratford minus the Festival theatre.
I tried my bestest to stop thinking about Tom, and I hope I can continue because its so hard to not be unhappy. I regret telling him how unhappy I am because now he's going to put it all on himself. Its not fair to him, which makes me think whether or not its a good idea to temporarily hide all my feelings for a little over a week, or until a good time... if such a time even exists. He's clearly doing something more productive than I am. It makes me wonder to hide all this sadness if its better to keep the ring off until he comes back. Its supposed to be symbolic and I don't know... does he have to follow me wherever I go? Its like how we act like we're madly in love. But are we really? Or is this all passion or the yearning to be with someone?
I should go get ready... I'm going out with Mike today to teach him how to fold stars, maybe lunch with him and buy stationary. Yay... but I still need to get postage.. ><"
I'll elaborate on this day and many other insights later.
