My name is Nathania, or lavenderpeace as some people in the world may know me as. I am finally in university, studying Nutritional and Nutraceutical Sciences.
Living a comfortable life full with high and low times, and despite it all I love it.
Friday, December 11, 2009
I don't know what to type.
I felt an urge to blog, to at least let my feelings out so I wouldn't feel as bad, but I guess due to the change of weather it is bringing me down a little. Or its the music moving me again.
Sometimes, I feel that perhaps I expect too much from this world. We are all materialistic as much as we may hate to admit, but it is true. We cannot live without something that others may not even have the chance to ever own. A cell phone, a television set, paper.... school supplies. Looking at myself, I sort of feel ashamed. I have more than enough of what I want. yet, sometimes you wish for more. More luxuries that is completely unnecessary because hey. We're still young, and yet we want the best. Isn't having something already the best thing of all?
I just took time away from homework, dramas, and babysitting my siblings, and read about 2-3 of Chris' posts on his blog. To be honest, reading those posts made me think about what I wrote on my blog, and I seem so... shallow. Every single paragraph, all you see are the words I, me. Is there something wrong with today's individualistic world? Or is it just me? Here we go again.
Having my sister interrupt and talking to me, just looking at her and the songs she listens to makes me ponder. Though she is going through a hard time for it is grade twelve, we are both so different. Its almost as if everyday she comes home with something new. A cute coat, and endless amounts of clothing that she can mix and match to create a perfect outfit. Sometimes I'm jealous, for I know I can never be like her, but You can see that she is similar to a material girl. But, in order to go into fashion, this is what one has to do. The most current song that will never get out of her head for a while - Tik Tok by Ke$ha. Its an interesting song, but so materialistic I don't know what to say about it. Are all songs like this now? If one does not want to sing about love, do you sing about money? What is money to you anyways? It won't do much good because all it increases is greed. The wanting of everything you desire. Wanting the many things you manage to persuade yourself you cannot live without.
How have we become like this?
How do you stop youself from being the rest of the world...
Until then, I shall be hating on myself. I feel like such a BITCH. and here we go again. I know in a way this sounds so retarded about how I'm annoyed by myself, but thats just me. I guess. I don't know what else to say about myself. Oh so annoyed at myself. there's nothing else to say.
Anyways, I have to go get ready to go out to eat. What worries me is that I'm attempting to eat less... why should we eat so much til we're ready to die extremely full? Why not just eat til you're content and minimize the amount of food we intake? Do you not think that others in the world deserve that food more than we do? We get to feed ourselves everyday and they don't.
I'm so angry. I am trying to see if I can minimize the intake tonight. Hopefully it works... before my parents find out what I'm up to. What people need to understand is that I am not attempting to be anorexic. If I accidentally do get onto the path of anorexia... then I don't know.
Whatever happens, it happens for a reason.
7:03 PM
