My name is Nathania, or lavenderpeace as some people in the world may know me as. I am finally in university, studying Nutritional and Nutraceutical Sciences.
Living a comfortable life full with high and low times, and despite it all I love it.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I Could never be someone's lucky star. I cause disaster. Its a curse. Anyone who encounters me would know. I get scared when I know people like me. I don't know why. I'm sorry I hurt you.
But I have gone insane. Don't think I would think the same again or straight. What in the world is wrong with me. I blocked so much of the world its like I concealed myself. The true me that can kill so many people... Or just self-destruct because of all those lies. Why do people lie anyways?? Why do I care about the people I half destroy and try to make things better?? WHO IS THE REAL ME?? if this is called an identity crisis, then oh well. but still. How long do I have to live with myself?? IS THIS A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM?
what is wrong with me?
I should stay away from everyone. Before I do more damage. After I got into high school, I think I'm just a ticking social bomb. Or a social terrorist. I already asked my dad about the army and what if I joined. But then I might not be worthy enough to protect the country, let alone represent. As negative as I sound, whatever. After what I've done? oh yeah. I should be.
Is there some way you can be scared of yourself and yet in a way care about yourself? I mean one side of yourself is killer, and the other is caring. One light, one dark. Am I RETARDED?!?
...and the crisis starts again.
9:44 PM
