My name is Nathania, or lavenderpeace as some people in the world may know me as. I am finally in university, studying Nutritional and Nutraceutical Sciences.
Living a comfortable life full with high and low times, and despite it all I love it.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I know right now u're pissed off, and u don't believe me. I understand. I know u're gonna hate me. You hate me so much right now. But... I know it seems like I don't trust you at all....and the fact that I'm hiding this from everyone.. well, its not because of image or popularity... its because I'm scared. I'm scared of rumours, and things that can hurt me emotionally. So many things can. I'm not confiedent like how i look like, its easy to make me feel bad, and feel like I don't belong anywhere. Its pretty sad... I was going to talk to you.. but i didn't see you right after the author thing.. u left so quickly. By the time i saw you, I had to go to class. it might seem like excuses, but it isn't. You're mad at me, yes i know. I can tell and feel the anger through MSN. U're annoyed by me since I ask these types of questions everyday. My heart skipped a beat when you said hi to me, and when I saw you at the assembly. But sometimes to me it seems like you're a total stranger to me when you're with your friends... but maybe that's because I'm watching from a distance everytime.
Just to sum it all up, I'm a total loser. A freak. Some dorkwad that has little to no self-esteem. So if u want, then leave me. I know u like girls a lot, and in your world, there's no one else but me. In my heart its like that too. except guy wise.
I don't think I'd be able to heal quickly just right after what you just told me. Just plain speechless. And u are busy with whatever. I don't think i want to know.
I miss you... but those words most likely (assuming) that it means nothing to your broken heart, crying inside of you. Its because of me, and my stupid actions that usually kill off everyone.
T.T
5:19 PM
